I Learned Way Too Late

I was so angry at the world for so long and didn't know how until my late 20's to really examine the world around me that I am now in a position that very few find themselves in.  The position is 'I have no idea what I am going to do.'

What I mean by that is I recently left the job that I had that was making me sick in many different ways.  Not only was my physical health deteriorating, but my emotional and psychological as well. 

I became a truck driver not because I wanted to see the country and not be tethered to anything.  I became a truck driver because I had no choice.  Work was non-existent for me.  Never have I had problems in my life finding work for longer than a month or 2.  But this was different.  The tenor of the employment world changed.  No longer would employers take a chance on someone.  Which was always my ace in the hole.  If I could get in a talk with someone, more often than not I would get a chance to learn and prove myself and impress the employer.  Not this time.  All that had changed.  What I found was if the job seeker did not have all the experience and knowledge to be thrown in day one and not really needed to be trained, the job seeker was not going to get that job. 

And what I mean by I learned way too late is that I went after one of the hardest careers anyone could ever go after.  That is being an Actor.  The average person usually sees just the success of the top movie and TV stars.  They do not see the struggle most of the actors go through.  I have friends that make a living performing, but that living doesn't leave much for anything else.  It is a hard life, but it is fun and rewarding. 

What I did not know...well, maybe I did, but was too blind to see it at the time.  Was that there were many creative outlets that I would enjoy and be able to have a solid middle class life with out the starving artist life.  10 years ago, I was exposed to video production for the web.  Audio podcasts which are basically radio talk shows for the web.  With that exposure, I found that I could have the creative outlet I need and be able to make a good living.

Now, after being out of that business for close to 5 years, I long to be back in it.  The economy is getting better and maybe someone will take a chance on me.  There is always something new for me to learn no matter what it is.  Hopefully, someone will give me a chance.  I waited too long for this realization and I am paying the price for it.  I let too many things get to me and limit what I could do in my life.  One thing my child will know is that she will have so many things to choose from to do with her life, that when she makes her decision she will be well informed on everything.