Figuring It Out

One of these days, I will figure all this stuff out.

The reason I say that is every time I think I have my issues dealt with something new comes up.  Now, you have to understand that I have tried to be the nice guy in all situations.  I always tried to do the right thing.  Always tried to smooth things over with whomever I had a problem with.  Always tried to be the peace maker and whatever else I had to do to make things right.

I failed more often than not.  But I kept trying.  I found that the people who ended up being my best friends were the ones that wanted me to be honest and point out when they were doing stupid stuff.  The people that I ended up having the biggest problems with being my friend was the type of person that could not deal with hearing the truth and life and about themselves. 

I never tried to criticize with malice.  Never tried to criticize that couldn't, ultimately, help.  There were many times that words were not chosen well and the approach was wrong.  But I always tried to help.

Now, I have found myself in a situation that I am not sure I can remedy.  I am now dealing with a person that does not want to deal with anything in a rational manner.  And in trying to deal with this person, the situation has just become worse and I finally figured out that there is nothing I can do to get this person to look at what is going on in a rational way.

I think once I get all this out of my system that I will finally be able to quiet my mind and get some real sleep.  Quiet my mind and truly be able to concentrate on my task at hand.  Quiet my mind and just have my mind clear and without preoccupation on any problem in my life.

One day...I hope to truly live in the moment and just be.